VTech Canada | Jeux et Jouets Educatifs pour enfants, console de jeu educative, jouets d'eveil

Each year, on Valentine’s Day, the expression of love becomes ‘official’ for twenty-four hours. We might not embrace this commercialized view of love, but in reality, it’s important to spend not just one day, but, the entire year teaching your child healthy ways to express love, as well as how to receive it from others. Love and its relatives, respect, empathy and sympathy, are the cornerstone emotions that support your child in becoming an emotionally healthy adult. Children are born with the capacity to feel and express love, but having healthy role models is critical to helping them realize their true potential. Since parents are a child’s most meaningful role model, it’s of great value to consider the messages you convey to your child about love. Here are four questions to ask yourself—each will help you understand whether you are successfully role modeling healthy love to your child.

1. Do you feel and express self-love?
In order to feel that you deserve to be loved by others, it’s first important to feel self-love. Your child will learn to feel self-love by watching you. Resist the urge to label yourself ‘dumb’, ‘fat’, ‘flaky’, ‘bad’, ‘messy’ or any other negative word. Let your child know that you work hard and are proud of your own accomplishments. You will be happy to see that high self worth is contagious!

2. Do you save your expressions of love for those with whom you truly feel close?
If you answered ‘yes’ to this question you are teaching your child that love, intimacy and caring are precious, not to be squandered on just anyone. It is valuable to be empathic, supportive and friendly to everyone in your life, but expressing real love—whether it is through words or physical acts should be saved for those at the top of your list. Role modeling this will teach your child to value real friendship and in adolescence and adulthood it will teach her to value only those intimate physical relationships that are meaningful and long-term.

3. Do you welcome the appropriate expression of love from others?
It’s of great value to your child to see you welcome hugs and kisses from close friends and family and to observe you return these expressions of emotion. However, she should also have the opportunity to see that you choose not to express intimacy when appropriate. For example, when you side-step a not-close-at-all friend or family member trying to grab you into a bear hug, which helps show your boundaries while expressing intimacy. Teaching your child how to express love is as important as teaching her when to respect boundaries of intimacy--her own and those of others.

4. Do you express love for your child both verbally and physically?
Many parents love their child deeply but don’t always express it. At times parents believe that they say ‘I love you’ to a child when they actually think it to themselves, but never really say the words. In other cases, parents spend a great deal of time with a child, playing, helping with homework and driving to activities, but, rarely offer spontaneous hugs and kisses. You may think that your child knows how much you love her, but if you don’t express it, she may not! It’s important to show your child—with hugs, kisses and words—how much you love her. Your expressions of love will bolster her self-esteem and self-confidence. This does not mean you have to love your child’s negative behaviors or adore every single piece of artwork she creates. This is not authentic love—and your child will see right through it and then question your
honesty on all occasions that you express love. Children trust and believe expressions of real love and affection and this is exactly what we want them to do as they grow into adults.